The weather reports on both my phone and my computer lied to me this morning and told me it was going to rain. I finished my breakfast, realized that since it wasn't yet raining I should get my steps in for the day, and headed out for a long walk. My goal was to hit 20,000 steps again today, but it started to look cloudy so I quit at 15,000. Fast forward to after dinner. It still hadn't started to rain and I still wanted that last 5,000 steps so I threw on some leggings and an oversized sweatshirt and headed out in all my no makeup, messy-haired glory hoping against hope that I wouldn't see anyone who recognized me.
Approximately ten minutes into my walk a guy from one of my classes ran past me and waved and for the rest of my walk I felt really visible. I felt the same way when I started the Couch to 5k program last semester. Like people were staring at me and judging me because I could barely run for a whole minute let alone a whole mile. I felt like everyone saw me when I had to walk before one of the running intervals was over, or like everyone who drove past me was laughing at the big girl on the sidewalk who was trying to run. For a really long time I refused to run anywhere but a local park with a one mile loop because I figured fewer people would see me there. I thought I had gotten over my embarrassment at exercising in public, especially now that I have lost weight and built my way up to running 5k, but for a little while today that old feeling came back.
And then I thought about it and realized that I don't really care if strangers are judging me because I have lost 30 pounds and I feel awesome. Awesome enough to stare right back and keep walking. Haters need to step off. I'm a new girl and I'm working hard to get my sexy back. I may not be there yet, but I'm still fabulous.